"Spongebob, Kristina and Grandma's Kisses"
[SpongeBob and I in tan sea sponge form were standing on a hill looking at his grandma's house]
SpongeBob: There it is. Grandma's house!
Me: That's your grandmother's house, Spongebob?
Spongebob: Oh yeah. What wonders for the await of us today?
Me: What's that?
Spongebob: Fresh baked cookies? Story time? A sweater with love in every stitch? Aw, what am I waiting for?
Me: Let's go down there and greet her, Spongebob. Come on.
Me and Spongebob: [runs down the hill]
Spongebob: Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
Spongebob's Grandma: [opens the door and came out of her house] SpongeBob! [extend her arms towards him as she was gonna hug him]
SpongeBob: Hi, Grandma! [hugs her]
Spongebob's Grandma: [notices me as she lets him go with a smile] Oh, who's your friend, Spongebob? Is she your girlfriend?
Spongebob: Oh no, Grandma, this is Kristina Kittensworth.
Me: [wave hello with a smile] Hello there.
Spongebob: [places his hand on my shoulder] She is my best friend and my roommate.
Grandma: Wow, you look just like his mother and me with same skin color, Kristina. I can see that you don't have hair and wear some kind of unusual outfit you're wearing.
Spongebob: Well, she's new here in Bikini Bottom and she is from another world.
Me: So, mind if we come in please?
Grandma: Why absolutely, dear.
[The three of us walk into the kitchen]
Grandma: Come in and sit for a while. [gives me and SpongeBob a plate of cookies while we're sitting by the table] Have a cookie, SpongeBob and Kristina.
SpongeBob: Grandma, you make the best cookies in the deep blue sea. [grabs a cookie and dips it in some milk that was in the glass cup] Oh yeah... [eats it. His eyes turn into cookies] Grandma's cookies.
Me: [took one cookie and ate it] Mmm. Chocolate chip cookie is my favorite cookie. Thanks, ma'am.
Grandma: Now, who wants to lick the spoon? [SpongeBob raises his hand]
Me: [smiles embarrassingly] Oh, no thanks. I'm too old for that.
SpongeBob: Me, me, me!
[The scene changed and the camera cuts to Grandma telling SpongeBob a story while he licks the spoon and I was sitting on the floor with my crossed legs]
Grandma: ...and then we drove all the way home with all the windows down in the freezing cold.
SpongeBob: Tell me another story about when I was a baby.
Me: Yeah, that'll be cute to hear his childhood memories. ^^
Spongebob: [smiles at me while blushing] Oh, Kristina, you're making me embarrassed while I blush.
[Then, the clock strikes three]
Me: What's wrong, Spongebob?
Spongebob Squarepants: Three o'clock? We're gonna be late for work!
Grandma: Hop in my car, I'll drop you two off.
Me: [stood up and smiles] Gee, thanks, ma'am. You are so kind to take us there to Krusty Krab's restaurant.
[The scene changed and the camera cut to Grandma driving up to the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: Thanks, Grandma!
Me: We appreciated your kindness, ma'am.
Me and Spongebob: [hops out of the car]
Grandma: SpongeBob, you forgot your kissy-kissy!
SpongeBob: [turns around] I sure did. [heads back to Grandma]
Squidward: [is seen watching from the window while he's cleaning it with a white washcloth] 0_0
Me: [stood by the door and watches both Spongebob and his grandmother with my smile]
Grandma: [gives him a kiss, leaving a print on his forehead of her lips] Bye, Grandma, thanks for the ride.
Squidward: [opens the door for SpongeBob] 8D
Spongebob: Thank you, Squidward. [walks inside to some laughing from everyone while I follow behind him and he is whistling]
Me: [feeling uncomfy and not sure what did everyone were laughing about]
Spongebob and me: [stopped by the wooden boat that has a cash register]
Spongebob: Isn't this great? Everybody's in a good mood today.
Me: Yes, but I don't think so, Spongebob, because something is very wrong here.
Spongebob: What do you exactly mean, Kristina?
Squidward: She's right. I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob, they're laughing at you, not with you.
SpongeBob: Did I do something funny?
Squidward: Your forehead. [points to the kiss]
SpongeBob: My forehead is funny?
Me: That kiss you mean?
Charlie: Hey, hey, Grandma's boy? Kissy-kissy-kissy!
Me: [became crossed with them because I don't think it was very funny]
SpongeBob: No, you're wrong! There's nothing wrong with getting kisses from your grandma.
Charlie: No, especially if you're a big baby who wears diapers!
Charlie: And sucks his thumb, and plays with dolls, and, um... [soon, everyone stops laughing] ...wears pajamas with feet in 'em, and carries his, um... blankie around, and...
Customers: Alright already!
Squidward: Cheer up, SpongeBob. I know someone who still likes you.
SpongeBob: Really? You do, Squidward?
Squidward: Yeah, your grandma!
SpongeBob: [tries getting the kiss off with his hand and a mop, but nothing seems to work. Everyone is still laughing at him]
Me: [still glaring at them while stood in front of Spongebob to defend him]
SpongeBob: STOP IT!
Me: [look at him] 0_0
Spongebob: I have been publicly humiliated for the last time!
Me: [walk up and stood with Spongebob behind me so I defend him and stood up for him with my assertive, crossed face] He's right! Humiliating people like Spongebob is wrong and you should know better than laughing at anyone who's being loved, cherished, hugged and kissed by their family like his grandma they loved! Family love is right and there is nothing wrong with his grandma's kisses! That's family's praise and love! And all of you, you should...NOT make fun of him and anyone with all your laughter! How would you feel if you being kissed by your mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, relatives and especially...[point my index finger at the gray nerdy, female sardine with black, round, framed glasses, brown hair with bangs, red poofy hair bow on the center of her head and red T-shirt] Your girlfriend that you consider her an ugly, nerdy date!?
Female nerdy sardine: Meep.
Me: If you do that one more time just to tease my best friend, Spongebob who is loved by his kind, generous grandmother... [hold my fist towards them as a threat while my fist is glowing in the fire aura just to make them flinched and scared] I'll use my magic to sent all the water-breathing mice in your house which shall be your plague! [clicked my fingers to conjure up the water-breathing mouse that ran past those customers and even Squidward]
Squidward and the customers: [running away from this mouse] Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
Female fish #1: A mouse!
Me: You should be ashamed for laughing at him who is known as the employee of the week! [turn to Spongebob worriedly] Are you alright, Spongebob?
Spongebob: [sniffs as his eyes filled with tears] Yes... Thanks for standing up for me. I--I-- [then runs out crying]
Me: [ran out and catches up to Spongebob] Spongebob, wait! I was trying to protect you!
[The scene faded to SpongeBob's living room of his house]
Patrick: [sitting on the armchair]
Me and Spongebob: [sitting on the couch with each other]
Patrick Star: I'm sorry that happened to you, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Me, too.
Me: Yeah, unless I stood up for him and protect him from Squidward and the others who are laughing at him so I scare them off with this water-breathing mouse.
Patrick: You're the most adult person I know.
Me: Yeah, man. [turn to Spongebob sympathetically as I rubbed his back to comfort him] And you're very special no matter what, Spongebob. Besides, we still love you as a part of our family. Even if we look like friends on the outside, but we can be family on the inside, man. [kisses him on the cheek to make him feel better]
SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick and Kristina.
Patrick: You know how grandmas are, they love babies. You just can't act like a baby around her.
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick.
Patrick: Have I ever not been right?
[The camera cut to a picture of SpongeBob on a red rocket, a second picture of Spongebob with a huge funnel in his mouth & Patrick is holding a giant pumpkin like he's gonna put it in the funnel, and a third picture of SpongeBob and Patrick in black speedos. Patrick grins, but Spongebob isn't so he looks sad. Then, it took a shot of Patrick, me and Spongebob]
Patrick Star: [got up of the armchair] You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you starting acting like one.
SpongeBob: [stood up for the couch] Yeah!
Me: [stood up too and grins] Sounds great!
Spongebob: [paused and became both confused and worried] Oh, but I'm not sure I know how.
Patrick: Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest. [SpongeBob does so]
Me: Wow! I didn't know you can do that, dude!
Patrick: Now say "tax exemption".
SpongeBob: Tax exemption.
Patrick: Now, you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz. [jazz music plays] Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready.
Me: [became skeptical] Wait, Patrick man, I'm not sure it supposed to work.
Patrick: [pats me on the head gently] Oh, trust me, Kristina. It'll work.
[The scene changed to the three of us walking up on the hill, facing Grandma's house]
Patrick: This is it. What're you gonna tell Grandma?
SpongeBob: I'm a grownup.
Patrick: No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
SpongeBob: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Patrick: And then you get behind her and I'll push.
SpongeBob: Patrick, we didn't say that.
Me: Yep, he made a good point, man.
Patrick: Oh yeah, right.
SpongeBob: All we need now is the icing on the maturity cake. [takes out a suitcase] I've been growing these babies for years. [opens it to reveal sideburns]
[Both Spongebob and Patrick take a pair and put them on]
Spongebob and Patrick: Sideburns.
Me: Alright, dudes. Let's go down there and say "hello" to her.
Spongebob: Okie dokie. [knocks on Grandma's door]
Grandma: [opens door] Oh, hello, SpongeBob and Kristina. What a nice surprise. [look at Spongebob] Come here and give your Granny her kissy-kissy. [as she is about to kiss him, SpongeBob puts on a helmet to block it]
SpongeBob: Sorry, grandmother, but the kissing has to stop.
Me: Yeah. Ever since he is being teased by others when they saw you kissing him earlier.
Patrick: Tell her like it is, SpongeBob, no more baby stuff.
SpongeBob: He is right, Grandmother. Kisses are for babies, which I am no longer. I have grown up. It is nature's way.
Grandma: Oh, you are absolutely right.
SpongeBob: I am? I mean, of course I am.
Grandma: You will definitely not be treated like a baby around here anymore ever again.
SpongeBob: I am glad you see it my way, mother. [took out his bowler hat and puts it on his head]
Me: [smiles slightly] Yeah.
Grandma: Well, I'm glad that's settled. [holds out a tray of cookies] But what am I going to do with all these fresh baked cookies?
Me: Uh, I--I don't know.
Spongebob: [chuckles] Sorry, grandmother, we adults don't partake in the consumption of sweets, right, Pat... [notices Patrick isn't there] ...rick?
Me: He probably went inside her house. Come, look at the window to see what he's up to.
[The camera cut to Patrick sitting at the kitchen table]
Patrick: Keep 'em coming, Granny. [scarfs down the cookies as SpongeBob and I watch from a window]
SpongeBob: So much for no more baby stuff.
Me: Yeah, I thought he's gonna act like an adult and now he's acting like a child?
Spongebob: You made a good point, Kristina.
Grandma: And don't forget the cookie-eating hat! [puts a red hat on top of Patrick's head]
Grandma and Patrick: [both laughing]
SpongeBob: Hey, that's my cookie-eating hat! He stole it! I mean it was when I was a baby.
Me: What are we gonna do now?
Patrick: [stormily walk towards the door]
Spongebob: [knocks on the door. His Grandma opens it and he is seen mad]
Me: [look at Spongebob worriedly]
Grandma: Well, look who's here. It's my big old adult grandson and the sweet Kristina Kittensworth.
SpongeBob: Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation with Mr Patrick. Come on, Kristina. Let's go in.
Me and Spongebob: [runs up to Patrick]
Spongebob Squarepants: Patrick, what do you think you're doing? Cookies? Warm milk? A bib? [points to it, which reads "I heart Grandma"] Is that a kissy mark on your forehead? We are supposed to be adults and you're doing the wrong thing! [bangs on the table]
Me: [place both of my hands on his arm worriedly] Spongebob!
Grandma: Oh, oh, no roughhousing with a full tummy. [as she pats Patric's belly]
Me: [look at Spongebob] She's right, Spongebob. [turn to his grandmother] Sorry about him, ma'am. I was just calm him down.
Grandma: Well, that's nice to hear it. [turns tickles Patrick's tummy] Who's the baby? [walks away with her sweet smile]
Patrick: [banging on the table with both fists repeatedly] I'm the baby, I'm the baby, I'm the baby!
SpongeBob: [clears his throat]
Me: Patrick, where is your adult self from earlier when you teach Spongebob how to be the mature grownup and now you turn yourself into a child? Why?
Patrick: Being grown up is boring. I love being a baby. Besides, I don't get jazz.
SpongeBob: [chuckles as he cool himself down] Poor Patrick. We almost feel sorry for you. [takes out a pipe and blows bubbles from it]
Me: [chuckles with an embarrassed smile] Yes, we are sorry for losing our tempers.
Spongebob: Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days never to know the rich rewards of being a grownup.
Grandma: [comes back with the plate of more cookies] Here's a fresh batch of cookies.
Patrick: All right! [inhales them] Rewards, huh?
SpongeBob: Well, yeah, there's, eh... well, let's see, the... [a cookie rolls over to his side] We went over the jazz...
Patrick" [grabs the cookie and eats it] Oh, Grandma, I'm full.
Grandma: [sets down another plate of cookies] More cookies!
Patrick: [uses his mouth like a vacuum and eats all the cookies]
Me: [my eyes widened and became round like it happens to Kitty Katswell's large slanted eyes shape changed to round shaped] Whoa...That is way weird.
[One cookie rolls over by SpongeBob who grins and then whistles casually for a second]
SpongeBob: [look at his wristwatch with a smirk] It appears to be my lunch hour. Grownups have to eat to. I guess this will have to do. [about to picks up the cookie, but his grandma takes it away]
Grandma: Oh, you don't want this baby food. How about a big piece of steamed coral? [gives him a red steamed coral]
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, uh... great. [takes a couple bites of it] Nutritious.
Me: [picks up the one of the steamed coral bits] Right. [toss it into my mouth and swallows it] Crunchy.
Patrick: [runs out of the kitchen to Spongebob's grandma] Oh boy! Storytime, storytime, storytime!
[The camera cuts to Grandma is sitting in her chair and hold a storybook]
Patrick: [is sitting on the armchair of Grandma and looking over Grandma's shoulder]
Grandma: You'll enjoy this, Patrick. It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun.
SpongeBob and me: [walks in]
Grandma: Oh, SpongeBob and Kristina, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book. [drops a giant, red book on the floor] Here's the technical manual on routine active maintenance.
SpongeBob: Oh, uh... great. Yeah. [opens the book] Fascinating. No pictures, just the way I like it.
Me: [took out my light blue backpack] Well, I'm gonna go sit down on the couch and draw comic story on my sketchbook.
Patrick Star: [while eating a cookie, he accidentally bites his finger, leaving a big red bruise and is acting like a 2-year old kid] Dow! My wittle finger! [sobs]
Grandma: Hold still, hold still. [kisses his finger]
[The camera cuts to Spongebob who is looking at them while reading this book and I was seen sitting on the purple couch and drawing on my sketchbook with colored pencils]
Spongebob's Grandmother: [offscreen] All better?
Patrick: [offscreen, talking normally] Sorta. [now onscreen and holds up his other finger] This finger hurts a little bit too.
Spongebob: [became crossed]
[Grandma kisses his other finger as heard in offscreen]
Spongebob: [look at the book again]
Grandma: How about I give you a present?
Spongebob: [look up at Patrick who is sitting on the floor and had a present box in front of him]
Patrick: Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies! [opens up the box to find a sweater]
[The box lid landed on Spongebob's head]
Patric: [puts it on his head] Alright, another hat.
Grandma: No, Patrick, it's a sweater?
SpongeBob: [pull off the box lid from his head] Huh?
Grandma: With love in every stitch.
SpongeBob: No... [imagines himself in the sweater instead of Patrick. The sweater vanish into thin air, leaving him naked and the heart tears in half. He walks over to his grandmother sadly] Don't I get a present, Grandma?
Grandma: Oh, I almost forgot. [hands him some office supplies] Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them. I knew you wouldn't mind.
[Then, the clock strikes three again]
Grandma: Uh-oh, three o'clock, time for adults to go to work. Bye-bye, SpongeBob and Kristina.
Patrick: [gets the sweater on]
Grandma: I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick?
Spongebob: [rotates his head around and look at them behind him]
Grandma: [offscreen] You still here, SpongeBob and Kristina?
SpongeBob: Uh, I don't need to leave yet. I can be late for work.
Grandma: [puts a blanket over Patrick as he lays on the couch and I was standing behind her]
Me: [holding my backpack]
Grandma: No, no, no, that wouldn't be the adult thing to do.
SpongeBob: [walks away] Alright, I guess I'll be going. I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business to take care of, so, uh, I'll see yah later. Come on, Kristina. We're bailing out for business.
Me: [walk off and follows Spongebob] Yeah. Bye, miss.
Grandma: Okay, thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob and Kristina.
SpongeBob and me: [standing with the door behind us]
Spongebob: Yep, that is it. Here I go.
Grandma: Come again if you get the chance.
SpongeBob: [opens the door] Out into the cold, grown-up world alone without a sweater.
Me: But Spongebob, adults wear sweaters or coats, too in case when it's get cold out there.
Spongebob: Oh yeah, uh, you made a good point, Kristina.
SpongeBob: I don't know when we'll be back.
Grandma: I know how busy you two are.
SpongeBob: So, uh... that's it.
Patrick: [is sleeping]
Grandma: Shh, he's asleep.
SpongeBob: [slowly closes the door] Soo long... [closes the door, but then opens it with sad eyes. His sideburns fall off of him] I don't wanna grow up! [holds up a giant cookie and snaps it in half] I want cookies! [holds up a giant bottle] And milky! [wears a sweater] I want a sweater with love in the stitches! [runs around in a diaper putting powder in] I wanna wear diapies! [rides in a wagon] I wanna ride in my wagon! [holds his teddy bear] I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Snuffykins! [rides his rocking horse with a sailor hat on and a lollipop] I wanna rocky-rock in my seahorsey! [holds up his bruised finger] And I want kissy-kissy on my boo-boo! [Cries as he fell his front body to the floor and bang his fists on the floor. Then, he roll himself up and down like a wheel]
Me and Grandma: [look at him worriedly]
Spongebob: [sitting on the floor and his eyes turn into water holes that spurts tears into his mouth]
Me and Grandma: [still looking at him worriedly]
Spongebob: [ratchets like a lawn sprinkler, almost spinning around and sprays tears everywhere. He spins even faster and floods the whole house]
Me: Ma'am, we need to do something to cheer him up. Quick before he overflood your house with all the tears he wasted.
Grandma: [turn to Spongebob] Take it easy, SpongeBob. [picks up SpongeBob] SpongeBob? SpongeBob? [holds SpongeBob's lips] You don't have to be a baby to get ol' Grandma's love.
SpongeBob: [sniffles] I don't?
Grandma: Of course not. [pulls the plug under the water to drain it] No matter how grown-up you get, you'll always be my little baby boo. [kisses his forehead]
Me: [smiles] Yep. She's right, Spongebob. All of us were being loved, cherished, hugged and kissed by our family like your grandmother we loved. Family love is right and there is nothing wrong with his grandma's kisses. That's family's praise and love. Also, even if everyone looks like friends on the outside, but they can still be the part of the family on the inside no matter what.
Grandma: [chuckles] You are absolutely right, Kristina. [turns to Spongebob] And remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult. [hands SpongeBob his sideburns and a cookie] Here you go.
SpongeBob: [puts on his sideburns and eats the cookie] Thanks, Grandma. [bites the cookie]
Me: [giggles] You know, Spongebob, everybody loves cookie like you do. ^^
Spongebob: Yeah. [turn to his grandmother] Uh, Grandma, could you not mention this to the guys down at the Krusty Krab?
Grandma: No problem.
Me: So, anyone wanna a family hug?
Spongebob and Grandma: Sure.
SponegBob, Granda and me: [hug each other in a group hug]
[Outside, Squidward and everyone else are laughing until the eight water-breathing mice pop their heads out of the exterior garden window sills in front of them and squeak at them]
Water-breathing mice: Squeak! Squeak!
Squidward and the people: [scaring away while running] Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!